No More noise

 If there were no God

If there was no mother

If there were no family or friends

I'd turn off the switch

And hear the noise no more.

Untitled and unfinished from June 26th

 Long ago in another life uniqueness waxed deep within

Left with nothing but shallow turns and constant whims

Let's pretend at the party where plastic holes melt away

Let's dissolve the distance we've come or no longer stay

I did not know

 Feeling the curve of her ass in my hand I could not discern whether the smooth soft textures in my palm were bare skin or silky lingerie.  And I could not comprehend her vocal mumbling. She seemed agitated I did not understand. I did not know if I was being seduced or being sought after for snuggling.  I did not know. And not knowing seemed to induce hostility in her.

The reality was that we had spent over two decades together but I did not know her. However, I did know  rejection all too well. And now she is upset at me?  Am I rejecting her now and not aware of it?  I'm holding her. Does she want more?  Is that why she is angry?  Why even try after two decades of rejection?

 Fear is dominant and manhood lays dormant.

Then I woke up to our daughters birthday. Except she passed away last year.

Time Altered

 The days are nights. The nights are days. The nights are filled with bad dreams or worse. The days are filled with the leftovers.

Time Crushed

 

 Bad dreams

 

 Her passing

His passing

Her passing

His passing

Her slow passing

His passing avoided

Blood bread

Dire delusion 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neuropathy burnings

Arthritic endeavors

Incontinence continues

Apathetic endeavors

Phantom pain

Real pain

Depression

StarToDay

 Elevated futility

Time crushed

Eternal being 

Nightmares