Tonight, I did an odd thing. I did.  I retrieved the link to my daughter's car wreck coverage from the local TV network going back several years ago. The link was still on an old browser on a non-working old laptop. Careful typing out of a very long internet addy and there it was! Boom! It had not been removed all these years later. Wow.  

A minute and twenty seconds of video footage which aired of her totaled car was hard to watch. I've watched it dozens of times in the past but not in years. One might ask why would a father watch a video of his daughters totaled car in which she lost her life? Why?

She has no gravesite as she was cremated. Not my choice but that's how it is.  I wonder and I have wondered in the past if this was(is) my way of visiting her "gravesite"?  I think maybe so. Perhaps.

I recall studying every inch of that wreckage and the surrounding interstate road for clues on what might have gone awry.  I did it time and time again.

I recall calling the accident investigator who calmly answered my questions and gave me all the time I wanted. A good man. God bless him. He was so kind.  I called him a second time, and he made time again. Eventually one of my sons wanted to talk to him so we did a three-way call. 

All these years later it's still hard to believe she's gone. But the video makes it painfully real. In an odd way I'm glad I have the link again. It's my only link to her "gravesite". 

R.I.P.  Pumpkin Pie.