Today all hell broke loose when Mom attacked me with words. I fought back and said far too much. Far too much. Words cannot be taken back. Dementia is hell. I love my mother but I have never really liked her. Things have recently gone from bad to worse. I don't know if I am cut out to be a proper caregiver anymore. I don't have the emotional makeup for it. So many of my own issues to deal with apart from hers.
But she does not like to be around people and in her own words a few months back, "I don't like people". She would go bat shit crazy in an institution. I don't want to put her there and it is something I promised myself years ago that such would never happen, if I could help it. And there is no money for it so such would have to be government funded. Great.
God help us.
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