She would be the closest I had gotten to a female in three years. She would also be the first I had dated in three years! Lol! I have not dated anyone since her and it is now three years later since then. Make sense? Good. Lol. She had the most beautiful eyes I think I have ever seen in my life. Penetrating sky blue eyes. Stunning. We had an uncanny instant chemistry. I liked her a lot. I did not like the fact she was an atheist.
We had a number of arguments(fights) over God. I tried very much not to argue(fight) with her over God but the debate invariably got heated and took on a life of its own. In our last debate I told her she was more caustically zealous than most over enthused Christians(as she thought of them). She agreed. I used a line I liked to use from time to time..."If you are so secure in your beliefs than why are you so upset at me"? This did not win me any points.
Ultimately arguments over such and various other unmentioned matters cooked our relationship. She moved away in May of 2004. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever date again.
Been in a couple of online relationships since then. Online. They don't tend to work out. Can anyone say DUH?
Where is God in all of this? Where is God in my life? I have now not been to church in over three years. It has been about that long since I attended a recovery meeting. I have not dated anyone of late. My Internet relationship just fell apart(of course it did, they always do..lol). I quit smoking eight months ago cold turkey. I began this series from a yearning I was having. The yearning is still there. The questions are still there. God has not been brought into the picture as much as I intended. Maybe that is so because it is so.
When I think of God now , automatically I feel defeated before I even get started. What's the point? But there is a point. There must be a point. At this point with very little sleep, any further point reflections are being delayed...
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