Watched, followed. It seemed things were becoming very strange at this point.
One day I went to lunch with my lawyer and no sooner had we sat down than suddenly a noisy group of people sat down directly in my line of vision on both sides of my lawyer. Several of them were highly attractive females in short dresses. Mr. Lawyer said to me, "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you". He acknowledged the planted people being used as a distraction and whispered that I should keep my eyes on him. I did.
One day I went to a recovery meeting and I noticed people looking at me differently. Afterwards a close friend told me that there had been a special meeting the night before of group conscience or some such having to do with anonymity and I was the main reason for the meeting. He told me I needed to watch my back as things had gotten strange. I had never broken any anonymity rules and if I had, no doubt someone would have talked to me about it. Subsequently every meeting had some new face in it and most of the time they would not admit they were a newcomer. Odd. I became uneasy at meetings. Very unusual that every single meeting I attended had a new face.
About 3 AM every night a car would pull into a parking slot directly in front of my living room window and sit there with its headlights illuminating the living room through the closed window shades. Parking spots were designated and I really wished that spot was taken.
It is difficult for me to recall any more examples at this point but there were many. Don't want to think about it too much now but I was paranoid virtually all the time. The lines had become blurred between reality and delusion and there's no doubt that many a time I thought I was being watched or followed I was not.
Was taking Xanax to help me relax at work and it had been quite helpful for many many months. At this point the dosage was doubled and I informed my doctor the reason why. But things continued to get worse in spite of it. There was no relaxation to be found.
The past few days I had taken off work and now it was time to go back. Early that evening I heard an odd sound, a humming of sorts that sounded as if it was coming from the bedroom. I was in the living room. Followed the sound to the landline phone(my only phone) and picked up the receiver. I was hearing the dial tone for the receiver!!
Can anyone say intensely acute hearing?
Took a shower and while taking it I heard what sounded like a loud pop or explosion in the bathroom. It came from the air filter cover. I never figured out what that was.
To say I was on edge after long periods of little sleep, constant stress at work with the government lawsuit, Mr. Lawyer and Mr. Boss trying to set me up, Xanax which was not effective anymore, and now I had to go back to work after giving Mr. Lawyer and Mr. Boss my lawyers card. Tomorrow would not be pretty. What would I do at work?
Called my girlfriend and told her I could not go to work tomorrow, that I was on edge and if I went I might just lose it. She said I needed to go.
Called my lawyer and told him I could not go to work tomorrow, that I was on edge and if I went I might just lose it. He said I needed to go.
I went to work the next morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment