The Missing Ingredient

What is the missing ingredient? What separates the men from the boys? What separates the big show from the minor leagues? What is it? What ingredient is it that ensures success? And what the heck is success(a topic not now to be pursued...lol)? For simplistic purposes(and because I am writing this blog and can write any damn thing I want to...lol) let's consider success for the moment as one achieving their desire(s). Let's add that this desire is within the context of something dreamed for such as a career or an education and not desire for another person! LOL!

Okay, so, uh, what is the deal? How does one reach their dreams? How does one grasp ahold of something which may seem totally unattainable? Is there some magical answer? I am thinking out loud here. Is that not what blogging is all about? Thinking out loud. Writing to me is thinking out loud. It is thoughts on paper. That's why I believe anyone can write. Anyone who thinks thoughts can write. It is a mere matter of transferal. Transference of thoughts to the paper. That's all. Now admittedly some may have more interesting thoughts than others or a more appealing presentation but that is what makes the world go round. We are all unique, not robots. Something tells me our thoughts themselves have a lot to do with reaching our dreams. How can they not? They must! So I will think some more and think out loud!

I have a dream of becoming a writer. This dream first came to me in 1999 when I was going through my second divorce. Writings were pouring out of me like water over a broken levy. A number of people at different times have told me I should consider it, that I have talent. I have tended to be grateful for their kind comments but also tended to discount what they said and disbelieve it. I am my own worst critic. I rarely get a "wow moment" from anything I write. Usually it is more like , "oh crap I should have put it this way, that way, inserted that word or deleted that word , I should have remained focused, it should have been more cryptic, it should have had more clarity, I should have made the paragraph longer, shorter, more paragraphs, less paragraphs...". So, not being overly happy with much of anything I write including most poetry, I guess I in effect tend to not believe in my dream. Yikes!

That's the problem isn't it? That's the missing ingredient! Belief. How can a dream become realized if one does not believe in it? How can a dream be realized if one does not want it bad enough? Do I want it bad enough to go to any lengths to make it happen? Hmmmm. I don't know how many baseball players are currently in the major leagues due to team expansion. But it use to be around 600 something I think. There are thousands and thousands of minor league ballplayers and most do not make it to the big leagues, the big show. What is it that gets one to the big time, to become one of those special few?

Can't recall where it was I first heard it. Was it on TV, in a magazine, a book or where? Dunno but I do recall it being said that in terms of TALENT there is little difference between the minor(AAA level) and major leagues. It was stated most emphatically that the player in AAA ball is little different than that in the majors when it comes to talent. So what was the difference they cited? What is it that breaks one through to the other side? What is the missing ingredient. It was BELIEF. It was WANTING IT it bad enough. Wanting it bad enough, believing in their dream to such an extent to make it happen.

What about my dream, writing? It has remained in the back of my mind for several years. Occasionally the dream surfaces but then dissipates. My confidence, er lack thereof, kills it at those times. Or procrastination, that ugly character defect of mine overrules me. Because I allow it to overrule me. But I am beginning to believe again. I feel the passion again and a strong desire to do it. It's coming back. I started this blog in hopes of triggering a catalyst. OK, actually I write a blog for many reasons but most of all because I love writing and that is what I want to do. I am grateful to my friend who has encouraged me to blog. She herself oozes with talent and I always enjoy reading her stuff. But back to my stuff. LOL. Back to my dream, this is my blog dammit! I can be as self-centered as I want to be here, right? Heehee...

I am going to make my dream happen. It won't be easy(quite an understatement) but I won't give up again. I have given up on it too many times. And time is wasting. Time consists of moments so why waste the moments anymore by allowing a dream to dissipate? Why not pursue it? Why not pursue that which one truly loves? Why not pursue that which fulfills one? Why not? Only I am between the dream and me. Move over me...