A middle of the night interruption

Today, er yesterday was not a good day. In more than one way it was a really bad day. Things always come in multiples it seems. So I am not too happy with the last part of the series I wrote tonight. It was a highly important point in time and I should have waited to write it. I was preoccupied with other matters and it seems too detailed and bogged down now. So I am going to make an attempt to speed things up at an astronomical pace when I resume it hopefully tomorrow.

Right now I could spew out words unceasingly as the emotion is there to spout them out and about forever down the page. And that is why I am here in the middle of the night. Well, not to drive them forever down the page but to do some spewing forth. Writing is a catharsis for me at times. And at times like this I need it. Also, I was thinking a few minutes ago that I have gotten so caught up lately examining the past that I am not writing much on the present.

Uh yeah, had a bad day. Relationships can do that. I am a fool for thinking a relationship over the net is a viable option. They rarely work. I've been here too long and seen too much occur here to ever think they can work. Making a relationship offline work is difficult enough and has a high failure rate. But they are infinitely more difficult online! I think we easily fall into a world of thinking it will work and we can get to know the insides of a person here better, yada yada yada. But the problem is, in my opinion, that the disadvantages outweigh any advantages when it comes to relationships on the net. And there are many many reasons for what I just typed. But it late and I am too tired to articulate them now. Actually a whole series could be done on this.

Relationships online are a two edged sword. When one looks at the pros the cons are right there ready to cut through the pros with the cons coming out winning most of the time. For example one must take some time to get to know someone online in order to trust them if there is to be any possibility of meeting. Correct? Yet the time that takes to do that also is conducive to premature emotional attachment. It happens because we open up our hearts too soon before meeting. Yet that is part of the "process". It really is a "Catch 22", a damned if you do, a damned if you don't. A two edged sword. Most of the time people get romantically involved online prior to meeting. They don't just meet as friends. Some do but most don't. I should pause for a moment and define "online relationships" as strictly chat room related relationships as dating websites are a whole other game (and I will add a much healthier approach). So we have the cart before the horse. Emotions are out there. Then people get hurt and why? Because most "internet relationships" don't work out. So we want to get to know someone so that we can meet them and try to do it as friends yet in the process of it we naturally become closer as intimacies of our lives are shared or just intimacy in the sense of eros(lol). Then we get screwed and I am not talking the kind of screwed we all love.

So I am distraught tonight wondering why I don't pay more attention to what I know to be true. I guess it is just too damn easy to fall into something online. It is. And I am lonely at times as we all are. Yes, I am lonely. I cover it by being online a lot. No question about it. And maybe that is something I need to look at and work on. Maybe less chat room time is in order and more time doing other activities. Maybe.